Ugh.

40 is only 2 days away.  Such a milestone.  I gaze slightly ahead at 40 with bittersweet consternation.  I can only assume I have so much longer to live, but I look at the prior 39.99 years and occasionally wonder if things might have been different.

Don’t get my wrong.  Please.  I am extremely grateful for what God has done in my life.  I am in awe of the woman with whom He was gracious enough to bless me and the children from our marriage of nearly 16 years (so far!).  I enjoyed (for the most part) a 17 year career in engineering that had me working with the Admiralty in the United States Navy and in the Pentagon, as well as with major retail distributors represented on Wall Street.

The provision that came from that career and the diligence that my bride manages our finances have both been incredible, and I have been fortunate to have had the opportunity to prepare for a new career and a new adventure in my life.

But 40?  I just don’t feel like I’ve done nearly enough.  The true friends that share life with me, even from a distance, are few.

No, I really do not want a huge surprise party.  I’d feel even more alone than I do now.  I am so glad that I have friends coming to adventure and celebrate this weekend.  And it’s just what I need.  They are what I need.

I’m glad that Sandi gets to go out of town to Zac and Karlee’s wedding and that the kids aren’t going to be stuck in the house alone all day for the next 3 days…  But, it sucks that my family won’t be here to celebrate with me – and meet the guys who are also important in my journey.

Hopefully, the flooding will stop on the river.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Friendships, Ponderings, Purpose, Reflections. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s