We need more men in this discussion. Because, frankly, in a patriarchal society, and asking where the men are, we really aren’t helping our daughters. At all.

Check out this article.

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2 Responses to Purity.

  1. We have three teens, ages 19, 17 and 15. Our oldest has chosen the courtship route so far, with no encouragement from us. I don’t mean that we discourage it, it’s just not what we see as practical in today’s society. She says that we didn’t do enough to teach them boundaries in dating when she was home, and I’m sure that’s true, but she never dated at all, so all talk was esoteric at the time. She read this article and said that the grandmother’s way of dating is exactly what most of her friends are doing, but they are having sex with each one. Sigh.

    Our second is dating someone exclusively for the first time, it’s still a new relationship and he is very open with us about his feelings for her. This kid is built for relationships, and honestly I’m surprised he waited this long to share his heart. We encourage them to spend the bulk of their time together at our house with us home, playing games, watching movies, etc. We are talking a lot about boundaries and temptation these days, with an emphasis on his responsibility to preserve her reputation and to be a warrior for her, which seems to really speak to him.

    Our youngest says she would love to have a relationship, but really what she seems to crave is someone who ‘sees’ her, who ‘has her back’. So we are talking a lot about building authentic, strong friendships and keeping the temptation to share her heart with a boy at bay for a while longer.

    It feels like there is no right way to do this, it’s all very clumsy and awkward. But when I think of all the mistakes I made as a teen and young adult, I am reminded that this is so important.

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